presence

Grant to all who seek your guidance, and to all who are lonely, anxious, or despondent, a knowledge of your will and an awareness of your presence;
Hear us, O Lord of life.

Is your CPE supervisor all about "the ministry of presence?" mine is, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what the hell she meant, until today. I spent two hours with a resident today. 30 minutes was spent in our usual pattern of chat, "they think i'm crazy, they don't know how to tell time, but i just do what i'm told..." Then after some convincing I got her to join me at music therapy. For 90 minutes we just sat next to each other. Sure we occasionally spoke a few words, but mostly we sat and experienced music therapy together. At one point she looked at what would be her watch if she could see and said, "I was going to leave a half hour ago, but... (long pause)... I'm having so much fun." SCORE!!!! I might be making a difference after all. Then as she got up to leave so walked a few steps then turned back to look me straight in the eye(ish region, remember she's basically blind) and said with the most sincerity I've ever felt, "Thank you."

Maybe today this portion of the litany was answered two fold. First, I felt God's presence in all my anxiety, searching deeply for guidance, by just being-with this 90 some-odd year-old woman. And maybe, just maybe, a lonely widow felt God's presence through me. At least I hope she did, I owe her that much.