God's Providence in the Midst of Sorrow and Devastation

It was one of those days when one's faith is tested; it was one of those days when the happy, optimistic, simplistic theologies of my past must die in order to have a new theology be resurrected in its place.

I spent much of the morning with a family that was devastated by a tragic episode (sorry that details must be vague). I felt myself also soaking up their sadness and desolation while I sat with them, while I held them, and while I listened to them try to make sense of a senseless situation. I was scheduled to preach today (and did) at the Seminary, and was going to focus upon the JOY of the man who found a treasure in a field (in Jesus parable in Matthew 13) and then because of this Joy he sells all that he has to gain the treasure...I had been so pleased to do some exegesis and word study on the word for Joy in Greek...

However, after my day, it was hard to see where the Joy was, and hard to feel God's presence and God's providence in the midst of such sorrow and devastation. I found myself praying deeply and silently (as Steve mentioned in his post) - and saying the Jesus Prayer as I offered hope for healing, for the patient, and for the family, and for me. On my "standard" days - if there is such a thing, I pray that Jesus is with me as I walk the floors and do my rounds with patients. Today, I felt as if I were suspended over the chasm, suspended over the abyss along wiht the family and my prayer was out of extreme need and a sense that only Christ could help. Christ, who suffered such cruelty in life on earth, and who died for us has the power to heal ... but it is easier to understand and visualize in a healing service than in a Traumatic situation.

I pray that God's grace be with all those who are sick, especially those that are critically so -- I pray that God's grace be with all those who remember and care for the sick, the dying, and those who have died; and I pray that Christ walk with me as I strive to integrate this CPE experience into my life and my ministry, through Christ our Lord, our Companion, and our Backup. Amen.